|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 18, 2015 18:49:20 GMT
I don't know what to say. I had been avoiding this thread for selfish reasons (not wanting to be sad) but here I am. Don't be sad. I'm not. I'm doing very well right now and that's what counts, no? My journey thread isn't depressing really. I relay the facts but use my weird humour a lot so it's light and not deep. I also have other helpful info. It's not all cancer stuff though lately I think it has been. I try to mix it up and make it a fun read. And it seems a lot of folks like it since I have so many views. My goal in that thread is more than just a blog but hope of helping even 1 person, cancer or not, with the way I think or things I say. That makes my day when I get messages of how I helped someone. I don't think anyone reading my blog has cancer. I'm sure everyone knows of someone who does and I expand on more than just breast cancer. So don't be afraid of the journey thread. I assume that's the one you are referring to. Breeze through it. It is long ass but it's full of all kinds of stuff, some very funny.
|
|
|
Post by edjr on Nov 18, 2015 18:51:38 GMT
I don't know what to say. I had been avoiding this thread for selfish reasons (not wanting to be sad) but here I am. Don't be sad. I'm not. I'm doing very well right now and that's what counts, no? My journey thread isn't depressing really. I relay the facts but use my weird humour a lot so it's light and not deep. I also have other helpful info. It's not all cancer stuff though lately I think it has been. I try to mix it up and make it a fun read. And it seems a lot of folks like it since I have so many views. My goal in that thread is more than just a blog but hope of helping even 1 person, cancer or not, with the way I think or things I say. That makes my day when I get messages of how I helped someone. I don't think anyone reading my blog has cancer. I'm sure everyone knows of someone who does and I expand on more than just breast cancer. So don't be afraid of the journey thread. I assume that's the one you are referring to. Breeze through it. It is long ass but it's full of all kinds of stuff, some very funny. Not this thread, dur. this topic. You're a brave soul. Keep up the good fight
|
|
|
Post by bipolarbear on Nov 18, 2015 20:46:34 GMT
Your brother lives in Irvine? I worked at Thomas Bros. Maps in Irvine and drove home thru the town everyday.
|
|
posty
Senior Member
Posts: 315
|
Post by posty on Nov 18, 2015 20:53:34 GMT
Arista, I think you are being an ass...
Tell your parents... Sure it will be hard on them, but I am pretty sure you will appreciate the fact that you won't have worry about keeping it a secret...
|
|
|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 18, 2015 21:04:26 GMT
Your brother lives in Irvine? I worked at Thomas Bros. Maps in Irvine and drove home thru the town everyday. Dad lives in Irvine. Bro lives in Hollywood area in LA. About an hour away but with traffic, up to 2. Dad's off of Alton Pkwy, between Harvard and Paseo Westpark. Forget what they call that area though.
|
|
|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 18, 2015 21:06:35 GMT
Arista, I think you are being an ass... Tell your parents... Sure it will be hard on them, but I am pretty sure you will appreciate the fact that you won't have worry about keeping it a secret... An ass? I hardly think that's the word for it. Considerate of what impact it would have on them for which only my bro and I truly know, we are not exaggerating. I'm not worrying about it. I have enough to worry about day to day that it's off the plate until I get concrete answers later on.
|
|
posty
Senior Member
Posts: 315
|
Post by posty on Nov 18, 2015 22:00:27 GMT
Arista, I think you are being an ass... Tell your parents... Sure it will be hard on them, but I am pretty sure you will appreciate the fact that you won't have worry about keeping it a secret... An ass? I hardly think that's the word for it. Considerate of what impact it would have on them for which only my bro and I truly know, we are not exaggerating. I'm not worrying about it. I have enough to worry about day to day that it's off the plate until I get concrete answers later on. Maybe the wrong word, but I still think telling them instead of keeping it a secret and wondering if the people that do know let it slip... I think that they would get more and more pissed at you for not telling...
|
|
|
Post by edjr on Nov 18, 2015 22:05:13 GMT
An ass? I hardly think that's the word for it. Considerate of what impact it would have on them for which only my bro and I truly know, we are not exaggerating. I'm not worrying about it. I have enough to worry about day to day that it's off the plate until I get concrete answers later on. Maybe the wrong word, but I still think telling them instead of keeping it a secret and wondering if the people that do know let it slip... I think that they would get more and more pissed at you for not telling... I can see both sides of the argument. If she were to get really sick and perhaps die, the parents would be very upset they weren't told.
|
|
|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 18, 2015 22:07:30 GMT
An ass? I hardly think that's the word for it. Considerate of what impact it would have on them for which only my bro and I truly know, we are not exaggerating. I'm not worrying about it. I have enough to worry about day to day that it's off the plate until I get concrete answers later on. Maybe the wrong word, but I still think telling them instead of keeping it a secret and wondering if the people that do know let it slip... I think that they would get more and more pissed at you for not telling... Bro is totally on board with this. He's the only one that knows my parents that could slip and he has no problem. I'm the one who almost slipped in my emails to my parents. We have great experience keeping secrets from the parents, bro and I. They are too Iranian for our liking in some things so we avoid the headache of even mentioning some stuff to them.
|
|
|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 18, 2015 22:10:59 GMT
Maybe the wrong word, but I still think telling them instead of keeping it a secret and wondering if the people that do know let it slip... I think that they would get more and more pissed at you for not telling... I can see both sides of the argument. If she were to get really sick and perhaps die, the parents would be very upset they weren't told. If I get really sick I will tell them. They don't need to know from now while I'm doing fine. For what? They aren't near by. They are in their 70s and while healthy, I don't want to crush their spirit. If it comes out from bro then it'll be my cross to bear. Of course they would be pissed, but really, how long would that last compared to now letting them be in their lives while I'm doing just fine? Also, I could say I just got diagnosed. Lots of folks come into bc stage IV off the bat. You don't have to start at lower stages. How would they know? They won't be asking for my medical records. They have to take it at face value that I just got diagnosed and was going to tell them soon. I would never reveal that bro knew. That is for sure.
|
|
|
Post by titans on Nov 19, 2015 0:50:46 GMT
I would be upset that my daughter thought so little of me she refused to let me be there for her. Hold her hand in chemo. Take the financial burden off her plate.
Please don't take that as criticism, im just giving you a man's perspective.
|
|
|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 19, 2015 0:57:10 GMT
I would be upset that my daughter thought so little of me she refused to let me be there for her. Hold her hand in chemo. Take the financial burden off her plate. Please don't take that as criticism, im just giving you a man's perspective. I don't. Thanks for the perspective. I don't think so little of my dad, but my dad wouldn't be able to the emotional hand holding because he would be sunken in major depression and anxiety. When I went through the very hard time back in 2006, what JK thinks he knows the whole story on and doesn't, dad went MIA. He can't handle hard news. I was worried about him then, let alone now that it's a life threatening disease that very well could turn out to be. So while my financial burden would be lifted as he wouldn't let me pay a cent, it's not worth putting him through it unless I"m stage IV and with a time frame to work with. Both my parents would be like that, not just dad. And bro wishes he was up here to pop in once in awhile, but he too is like my dad but not as bad with dealing with such news.
|
|
|
Post by titans on Nov 19, 2015 6:31:15 GMT
I would be upset that my daughter thought so little of me she refused to let me be there for her. Hold her hand in chemo. Take the financial burden off her plate. Please don't take that as criticism, im just giving you a man's perspective. I don't. Thanks for the perspective. I don't think so little of my dad, but my dad wouldn't be able to the emotional hand holding because he would be sunken in major depression and anxiety. When I went through the very hard time back in 2006, what JK thinks he knows the whole story on and doesn't, dad went MIA. He can't handle hard news. I was worried about him then, let alone now that it's a life threatening disease that very well could turn out to be. So while my financial burden would be lifted as he wouldn't let me pay a cent, it's not worth putting him through it unless I"m stage IV and with a time frame to work with. Both my parents would be like that, not just dad. And bro wishes he was up here to pop in once in awhile, but he too is like my dad but not as bad with dealing with such news. When I was really struggling with depression, I had people do that to me. Keep me in the dark on problems because hey thought I couldn't handle it. When I eventually found out, it made me feel worse. "Am I so useless that people feel I can't even handle reality?" Kind of thing.
|
|
|
Post by edjr on Nov 19, 2015 14:12:05 GMT
I don't. Thanks for the perspective. I don't think so little of my dad, but my dad wouldn't be able to the emotional hand holding because he would be sunken in major depression and anxiety. When I went through the very hard time back in 2006, what JK thinks he knows the whole story on and doesn't, dad went MIA. He can't handle hard news. I was worried about him then, let alone now that it's a life threatening disease that very well could turn out to be. So while my financial burden would be lifted as he wouldn't let me pay a cent, it's not worth putting him through it unless I"m stage IV and with a time frame to work with. Both my parents would be like that, not just dad. And bro wishes he was up here to pop in once in awhile, but he too is like my dad but not as bad with dealing with such news. When I was really struggling with depression, I had people do that to me. Keep me in the dark on problems because hey thought I couldn't handle it. When I eventually found out, it made me feel worse. "Am I so useless that people feel I can't even handle reality?" Kind of thing. :thumbup:
|
|
|
Post by Artista/CN on Nov 19, 2015 17:27:21 GMT
I don't. Thanks for the perspective. I don't think so little of my dad, but my dad wouldn't be able to the emotional hand holding because he would be sunken in major depression and anxiety. When I went through the very hard time back in 2006, what JK thinks he knows the whole story on and doesn't, dad went MIA. He can't handle hard news. I was worried about him then, let alone now that it's a life threatening disease that very well could turn out to be. So while my financial burden would be lifted as he wouldn't let me pay a cent, it's not worth putting him through it unless I"m stage IV and with a time frame to work with. Both my parents would be like that, not just dad. And bro wishes he was up here to pop in once in awhile, but he too is like my dad but not as bad with dealing with such news. When I was really struggling with depression, I had people do that to me. Keep me in the dark on problems because hey thought I couldn't handle it. When I eventually found out, it made me feel worse. "Am I so useless that people feel I can't even handle reality?" Kind of thing. Dad isn't much on the depression side as he is big on the anxiety side. Little things can send him reeling. He's the biggest worrier I've seen. Runs on that side of the fam. I've battled some anxiety before but have overcome. He never has and has been like this forever. That's why I have great concern about his health even though he's stellar in all other aspects at 76. There's just of a good chance that fam would never have to know if I"m stage III and remain this way after treatments. Plus I have to admit it would make me very depressed and anxious knowing dad knows because I'd know exactly what he's going through and worry about him hitting the ground. That wouldn't be good for me either as I'm supposed to remain as stress free as possible to aid myself in battling this disease.
|
|